split club lviv

Last Night in Lviv

No Missed Calls

It was already dark outside when I awoke from what was an unplanned long afternoon nap. Checking my phone again and disappointed at seeing no missed calls I rang the same number again which went straight through to the same crackly answer machine making me think that maybe those 2 birds in the bush had now flown away.

In Call Lviv Escorts?

With my cock now ready steady for some action, feeling as horny as ever home alone in a hotel room it was time to do something about it, just like my other travels around the world I wanted to hear again that lovely tap, tapping sound on the door of my room, the sound of a call girl telling me she has arrived and even better if she was with a friend.

So time to go online and first googling ‘lviv escort girls’ one particular expensive looking website with elaborate videos presentations put me off even before seeing the 200 Euros + prices per hour. Some old businessmen I should imagine are actually paying these silly prices without first even seeing some the girls faces.

VIP Lviv

Thankfully while scrolling down, the majority of working girls I found were on much more down to earth sites with the going rate in Lviv for both outcall and incall averaging around 1500 Ukraine (around 50 Euros per hour) to 2800 Ukraine for 2 hours. Despite not seeing any girls working in pairs offering their services viplviv – see link at the end was not as a amateurish and dodgy looking as some of the other sites I thought and as well as showing a good choice they had a large number of girls showing as available.

Text Messaging

And this is where I became unstuck. Being the odd one out as being more of a phone person, old school if you like, i.e. one of those people who has always loathed sending long text messages and generally will only text people if I really have to as I just don’t have the patience fiddling about on those small piddly keyboards, I thought no more about the fact that my phone failed to send my message the other afternoon and having just successfully spoken to one of the girls on viplviv who was my first choice actually, when I tried to text her my details the same thing happened again.

vip lviv escort
First of three very appealing girls on viplviv who answered my call but Damn it, they all wanted me to text them first my details

As time was getting on now, thinking ahead of the specified visiting times for all non hotel guests and knowing just how casual to put it politely, some of these call girls can be with their general (not) timekeeping I could not risk now any visitor who agreeing to come to the hotel without me texting my details first turning up so late they would not be allowed up to the room, how humiliating and embarrassing that would have been.

Then I thought about going to them as an incall, after all Lviv isn’t a big city that’s why I assumed most of the girls charged the same price whether it was outcall or incall, but there again some text messages would still have to be exchanged. This was getting very complicated now, something I could do without especially on my last night, and to think I had all friggin day to sort this out.

Deciding to cut my losses and return to the same good massage place that I had a little taste of on my first day here, before maybe going on to one of those nice pubs in the old town for something to eat, just as I was leaving the room I received a call and for a moment thinking it was one of the young ladies I had just spoken to earlier, I was confused then realising it was one of the women who I had met outside the Fashion Club, still, good to hear from them at last I found it very hard to understand what she and her friend were saying, I did though just about understand that they too wanted me to text the name of my hotel and room number but what about the price? Time, and how long? Frustrated with the language barrier and there being no two-way communication I’m just sorry we had to end the call achieving nothing.

Weekday night in Lviv

While trying my best now to keep a positive frame of mind, experiencing now a typical weekday night in Lviv it took ages for someone to come and answer the door when I rang the bell at Empire Erotic Massage, they were very busy inside apparently and I was told to come back in an hour or better still in 2 hours time when more girls would be available.

So feeling quite hungry now and hitting the old town again in no time as I really knew my way around now, I wasted a lot of time crossing from one street to the other being told everywhere I went that the kitchen was about to close or was already closed. No problem getting a drink but it was food I needed then, and something a bit more substantial than something like a takeaway gyro from those places I passed.

Split Club

I was just about to give up on my search when I saw what looked like a nice restaurant which was still open on Miskevycha Sq. Once inside in true ‘Can I help you’ Ukrainian style which you only experience, and probably don’t want to experience when entering these higher type of places at night I spoke to the hostess the face of the restaurant while her male security counterparts standing close by were no doubt face controlling me and checking me out. Guessing correctly that I wasn’t armed and meant what I said by asking if they were still serving food, I was ushered up a grand looking staircase to deposit my coat in the cloakroom before being ushered into the bar restaurant area where a waiter took over.

Nothing too over the top either, I thought the general decor inside was very nice but it wasn’t just the decor that caught my eye, as I walked in and sitting on a long sofa four young Miss Ukraine or Miss World or Miss I Want To Fuck You All Right Now girls looked up and one gave me a real nice smile.

Wow, I chose this place well I thought just right for my last night in Lviv and ordering myself a double JD and coke got down to looking at the menu which considering there was such a vast choice I thought was not that brilliant actually, it was the Asian fusion I’m not really into and I wasn’t really into the fact either that four or maybe even five times I had to ask the waiter who kept returning to take my order to give me more time as it was starting to occur to me the menu here was a potential mine field of different and very confusing how long is a piece of string price combinations making it impossible to know in advance the cost of most of the food items.

While a steak which I nearly ordered was priced per X number of grams multiplied by not what it did weigh but by what only those in the kitchen knew might weigh which involved a bit of guess work I suppose for those who knew their grams, weight averages and faith in the restaurant not ripping them off (and that was the easy one). Easier still some smaller dishes showed their true weight in grams which was the price you paid for the item just like in any normal restaurant while other food items on the menu showed up to three different prices for the same dish per the same X number of grams, very confusing, I didn’t even know what food items might have been a rip-off because I didn’t know the cost of it in the first place, to me it just seemed strange ordering something in a restaurant without knowing the price first.

Having to come clean with the waiter as he could have been standing there all night, I was very apologetic explaining to him that I genuinely could not work out the menu and the prices, something which in my adult life has never happened to me before and feeling very humbled with the whole experience I asked him for the bill and left him a good tip before collecting my coat from the cloakroom.

split club lviv
It hadn’t occurred to me at the time but this unassuming looking restaurant on the street called Split or Club Split to be precise is one of Lviv’s top night time venues with a striptease show bar, music and karaoke

Once outside and thinking I was truly screwed now in getting something to eat good old McDonalds which was about to close saved the evening for me. No queues as well at that time of night I managed to grab the last McChicken sandwich, a burger and a coke and carrying my meal on a tray up the stairs to eat in, that is where I ended my last evening inside McDonalds on Svobody Avenue while they cleared the tables and mopped the floor. Ready for my bed as well as sleep now comes first, the old fuck I am, that’s it folks the end of my travelogue to lviv.

Coming up next time, mobile phone issues and I compare lviv to Kiev.

By Captain Matt

13 thoughts on “Last Night in Lviv”

  1. I guess some nights just better staying in bed, and I have done many nights when away from home mongering. It can be difficult to get out of a negative run. A good nights sleep is often the bridge between despair and hope 🙂

  2. There was a big change too in the weather that day from sunny blue skies to cold grey almost winter and passing that same cafe where I sat out in the sun on my first day all the tables outside looked deserted which indeed had a negative effect on my frame of mind which was already developing into boredom reducing me at one stage to take a whole afternoon walking tour, one to one, with a local freelancer MILF tour guide just because I liked her pretty face which as we were getting on so well, had I chosen to, and continued to pay her by the hour could have carried on well into the evening for sure giving me company, but nothing more than that, paying just for a platonic association really.

    So looking back with the benefit (what benefit?) of hindsight they say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. True with the bird in hand I already had there was a good chance I could have had a pleasant last evening in Lviv with nice company over a nice dinner in a decent restaurant, however, my mind was already set on trying to organise a threesome back at the hotel.

    1. It is a pain typing on a mobile phone, but essential now when travelling and communicating trying to seal a deal, especially on whatsapp. It comes naturally to younger generation.

    2. If you could be more effective with text if you had a more normal keyboard, maybe you could get a Bluetooth keyboard (if your phone supports the necessary Bluetooth protocol). I have done this in the past and it worked well, simply turn on the keyboard and connect to the phone and could type on the keyboard. You can find keyboards with integrated mouse controls or even get a separate Bluetooth mouse. Obviously you’d need to be able to pack a keyboard, but they are fairly small and thin (some even flexible) and don’t take up much room. Also, on eBay, Amazon or other sites they are cheap.

      for example: https://www.amazon.com/Foldable-Bluetooth-Keyboard-Jelly-Comb/dp/B076V9Y2XZ

      1. Yes you can get a mini bluetooth keyboard, i got one for my tab, for use when travelling and typing up my notes. There are other options, voice recognition is pretty good now, voice to text.
        Also other things like taking screen shots and sending this, pressing the power and down button together takes a screen shot, so could be over web page with address on. Also on google maps find hotel there share location. Also good to get onto whatsapp asap as makes it easier to keep contact. If your feeling negative though, makes it harder to put in the effort. After 3 or 4 night mongering, sleeping in a hotel, boozing, staying out late, travel fatigue, takes it toll.

  3. I appreciate the post a great deal. I don’t get to europe often – but when I’m in a place that is generally inexpensive (eastern europe, portugal, rural anywhere), I indulge in food and in woman – both of which offer outrageous value. Maybe I have more discretionary income, or maybe you partake more often, but when I’m there it all seems so cheap so I just splurge. It’s only money!

    Keep up the great posts!

    1. Hello s out seattle,
      Many thanks for the comment. You hit the nail right on the head I think when you said about the food and women especially in eastern Europe offering outrageous value. Many a time I have thought why do I go through all this stress of airports and travelling and very often lack of sleep while forgetting for the moment, as well as that, also the cheapness in comparison of good quality hotels and inexpensive taxis together with the fact that as someone who is no longer 28 or 38 , generally in eastern Europe they do not discriminate about ones age when entering establishments like discos even and the girls inside certainly do not 🙂

      1. Several years ago I was in Gyor, Hungary for one night. Stayed at one of the best hotels in town. Ate at the top restaurant -4 courses and 3 glasses of their most expensive wine. Tried to pick up two local woman and failed. Then found a hot woman from rosszlanyok. Funny part was I was at a bar and had to pay some young guy I started chatting with in english $15 to help book the appointment. She was mid-20’s a natural blond hungarian woman. Wasn’t great at english, but we managed through, and she went well over our 2 hours and didnt even ask for more. Looks 9/10 and service 8/10.

        All in for the the entire day (lunch too) was something like $400. In a bigger city in the states, this would be $1600 — at least. Funny part to me is that I remember the dinner more than the girl — girls tend to blend together in my memory, but I can always remember a great meal.

        I like 75% off sales on the things I enjoy the most in life!

          1. This was back 7 years or so now. Went on a trip to northwest spain and to portugal. Flew into Madrid – took the train the next day to Bilbao (to see the getty museum). Had a good 4 days sightseeing while heading west along the coast. Got approached in a small town by some freelancers (Llanes maybe?? — but were not that attractive).

            Later in Ponferreda I picked up (more like she picked me up) just out on the street. No english, my spanish was horrible, but we agreed on 70 euros. She was a real spaniard — long black hair, darker skin, thin, size 2 or 4 dress, with a couple of tattoos on her arm. It was a pretty fun time. Very GFE, as we showered together before and after.

            Fast forward to Porto. After a week or so of travel it was time to relax. Stayed at the crown plaza. I found a massage place a block away. Didn’t get to really pick the girl, but she was attractive, maybe early 30’s. I remember opting for just the massage as other things were expensive, I remember thinking that all-in it would be close to 200 euros.

            Then it got crazy. I was approached by two very attractive women (9/10 and 8/10) when I was at some bar/nightlcub right in the main bar area of town. Claredos (I think). I did the drunk thing and paid for everything as we went to a few bars, and picked up another of their friends. I was pretty sure they were pro’s but not 100% – the friend didn’t seem so, as the 3rd girl started chatting with some other friends. We split up from the 3rd friend, and they suggested we go back to my hotel, but since it was late I would need to pay for a taxi for their ride home. At this point I was pretty drunk – but also realized I was just propositioned. Started talking business, and they wanted 500 euro for 2 hours for both of them. Told them I was too drunk for tonight, and right there in a booth at the bar one of them (8/10) sticks their hand down my pants, telling me I’m not too drunk. She starts jerking me off a little, and I made her stop. I convince them that tomorrow (sat.) is better, and we can meet up in the afternoon, and reinforce the idea that I just bought them like 150 euros worth of drinks, and I should get a discount. They agreed. After all of that, I just thought— F-It. and took them back to my hotel. Which was a mistake!

            It was past midnight, and I come into the lobby of the crown plaza sloppy drunk with two obvious prostitutes who were also pretty drunk. They wouldn’t let me in! Never had that happen before, or since. Too drunk to even think it through ahead of time. Hotel person didn’t even accept my bribe.

            The next day I called them back and we ended up sneaking them into the hotel by having them walk down into the parking garage, and I meet them there.

            It was my first threesome. One of the girls was much more enthusiastic, and the other (prettier one) was sorta timid. Great BJ from both at the same time. The girls made out some, and I got have reverse CG, while the other jerked off right in front of me.

            Later that week, I had dinner with the prettier one (she had the better english) and she was more comfortable with just me. I actually forget how much that one was, but she stayed over for 4 or 5 hours and we did it 3 times.

            After that I tried one more massage place the day of my flight in Lisbon. It was bad, should have stopped while it was good.

            1. This sounds like a great trip with a few ups and downs, highs and lows. I had two beautiful Portuguese girl next door types visit my rented AirBnB apartment center of Lisbon. Very memorable. Sound like a good trip, land in Madrid, then travel down the coast into Portugal. Thanks for the comments and info.

  4. s o seattle, sounded like just another average night out in Pattaya Thailand! lol. Very nice, but price wise for my discretionary income it would have to be a bit more east in Europe or the Far east all together which I believe you Americans call the Orient.

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