Monger Matt Conquers Central Asia and Eastern Europe
All work and no play is enough to drive anyone mad. After being very ill with that very nasty flu virus thing over the Christmas period leaving me weak and feeling too unwell to even think about travel even though I had at one point considered a quick short break getaway to hopefully sunny Cyprus if the fare was right at the time, and grinning (not) and bearing another British and quite frankly total washout long Easter Bank holiday weekend recently where it did nothing but rain, constantly, the spring time Monger inside of me was saying enough is enough – all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Just What The Doctor Ordered
Yes I totally agree, so take a jet plane (or two) to somewhere new and exotic perhaps Jack, with a bit of proper sunshine thrown in of course, and add to that Jack, a bit of pussy, the result? Just what the doctor ordered.
Would have to ration the mongering
But with one thing and the other this year, money has been a bit tight, so this trip away lasting between 2 to 3 weeks would not be long haul. This time I would be on a tighter budget so while enjoying the satisfaction of flying out to a new place, a new country and experiencing a very different culture, or just a very different way of life, I would have to ration the mongering to not every second day but probably every third day when the need arose, and if I needed to, I wanted the option to be able to return home with minimal expense involved at short notice if need be.
Somewhere new and exotic
Somewhere new, a new destination was definitely on the cards. I do like a challenge but the place had to be hot, with new mongering opportunities and that’s when I started researching Baku,
to me the mysterious capital city of Azerbaijan, which is a bit exotic I suppose, has some nightlife, some decent beaches, hopefully, and is not too expensive. Yes Baku was looking good.
£271 multi city COMBO deal
Initially though the best direct flights seemed to cost not much less than a cheap long-haul flight from London to Bangkok but for sure perseverance and determination does pay and looking at the KAYAK and Skyscanner search engines I found a good multi city bargain flying with Ukraine International Airlines to Baku giving me a long weekend 4 nights in Kiev on the way out returning to Sofia Bulgaria for the excellent all in price of £271.00 .
Sunny Kiev, Black Sea Babes, Gypsy Blowjobs
A good combination I thought as my last visit to Kiev was in the middle of winter and freezing cold and I did say at the time I would like to return again in the warmer summer months even if it was just to see some of the most natural beautiful girls on the planet just walking down the streets wearing as little as possible, and finally ending my trip in Bulgaria would also do nicely
giving me the option of spending a few more days by the Black Sea (if I was still up to it) even if I was in danger of wanking myself to death every time I returned from the beach, but Bulgaria was mainly to check out the beautiful, they say, and now I say too,
Gipsy women selling themselves on the roadside lay-bys’; before finally returning to the UK not too exhausted ☺ I hoped.
So after getting my Azerbaijan Visa for Baku online a few weeks before which cost $43 US and three working days to process, my bags were packed and I was ready to go, and flying from Gatwick while at the same time trying to tell myself from my aisle seat that it is rude to stare, in this case at the stunningly beautiful blonde Ukraine Airlines cabin crew whenever they walked past wheeling the trolley, landed in Kiev 3 hours later on a warm sunny Friday evening in late May.
Long Weekend, Kiev
Still having some Ukraine currency left over from my previous winter trip which was enough to cover the taxi into town plus any tips including hotel porters, this time while I was away I would either exchange hard Euros or just make use of the countries ATMs.
Now knowing what to do, getting a taxi into town from Boryspil International airport was straightforward using the metered taxis arranged through the airport taxi desk, however I had a slight moment of concern when once we hit the wide 4 lane North American style highway and gathered speed the taxi meter digits next to the driver started going around just as fast as a stop watch making me think for one moment that the meter had been tampered with until I realised that 1 Ukrainian Hryvnia totalling 100 kopiyky is not even worth 5 US cents.
You are not in Central Europe
Once off the highway approaching the centre of Kiev with the old Soviet architecture and billboard signs, again you definitely feel that you are in a foreign city in a foreign country and definitely not in Central Europe and even now in the Ukraine as a traveller I feel you still get more bang for your buck.
Even with the window down it got quite hot in the non air-conditioned taxi more noticeably when we slowed down and ground to a complete halt for a short period in the evening rush hour traffic. Weather wise, throughout my stay in Kiev, the outside temperature peaked at around a warm 26° centigrade.
Dropping me right outside the main entrance of the 3* Hotel Premier Rus around 40 minutes later the 19 mile journey with tip cost me 500 UAH roughly 16 Euros.
Premier Hotel Rus
Quite an ugly building to look at initially of grey concrete and steel in old modern 70s Soviet style, the little dated Hotel Rus was not my first choice of accommodation due to the fact that it is situated half way up a hill, still it seemed my best option at the time and despite all is still very close to the Centre.
My not very big room with just the basics with a view of Kiev stretching outwards below, but looking nothing like the pictures of the more expensive? rooms shown on the internet was £42.00 a night with breakfast included. With an open canvas of a fridge in the room to stock up with whatever I saw fit, room service with almost 1990 prices and working wifi (sometimes) but again as in most hotels I have stayed in the signal was much better in the main public areas lower down near reception, yet overall for tourists and business people the hotel functioned well I thought.
Yes, despite all the hotel Rus just about cut it. The lobby bar which was quite busy both day and night seemed to attract the loud tour group type of people, with a more formal grander looking bar on the 1st floor, but my favourite place of all to sit and watch the world go by was the hotel terrace bar restaurant outside with nice comfortable bamboo chairs.
Feeling more relaxed
After changing some Euros in the hotels Bank bureau de change kiosk it seemed a much shorter walk than I had remembered down the hill to the Centre, and like on my previous trip I tried to keep the KIA Tower above the Arena City Entertainment complex always in view as a good guide to finding my bearings.
Last time in Kiev when I first set foot outside the hotel on my first day of arriving it was dark and bitterly cold with some sleet which later turned into snow and I didn’t even know where I was going, and at one point I seriously wondered if I was losing my mind, but no such worries this time as I walked through a much brighter Kiev still light in the warm evening while feeling much more relaxed and optimistic.
(Coming up in the next instalment; A local bitch tries to burst my ego at the start of a very warm sticky evening mongering in Kiev.)
Subscribe to Blog via Email
By Monger Matt.