Patong Phuket

Was in two minds where to head next in Thailand from Bangkok.  To Patong in Phuket or Hua Hin?  My last day in Bangkok and decide to return to Patong in Phuket after more than 10 years absence.  This time alone, no Bangkok girlfriend in tow…

Bangkok to Phuket

Checkout of the Miami hotel, down soi 13 Sukhumvit in Bangkok, taking a taxi to Don Muang airport to catch my domestic Air Asia flight to Phuket. I booked my flight to Phuket from Bangkok the night before online for a grand total of 1500 baht, return.

Out of convenience booked a taxi through the hotel for 500 baht all inclusive of tolls. Left at 9am and flight was at 11am and the journey to the airport took 30 minutes.  After 9am there was very little traffic out of Bangkok and on the motorway.

To Patong

Straight through Don Muang, flight was about 1 hour and then straight through Phuket airport too.  No delays.  Public taxi from Phuket airport to my hotel in Patong was 650 baht plus 100 baht surcharge. Journey took about 45 minutes.  Phuket was going to be more expensive due to the tourism.  A bus from Phuket airport to Patong is a 150 baht for those with severe austerity.

Keeta Hotel, Patong

I was booked into the Keeta Patong Beach hotel for 7 nights for a whopping $135.38. Not expecting 5* luxury but location location location.  Right next to  Patong beach and Bangla road.

Keeta patong
Keeta Hotel

Checked into the Keeta hotel and staff friendly and room OK, a bit small and grubby. But got a little balcony overlooking the street below Soi Foodland, Taweewong Road .  The room had a double bed, confirmed girl friendly, satellite TV, hot water, room safe, clean sheets, air con and a shower.  What more does a hunting monger need?

Patong Beach

Its a nice sunny day in Patong.  After unpacking I head straight to Patong beach a couple of minutes walk away from the Keeta hotel.  I walk pass the Patong Bay garden resort, the hotel I had stayed in 10 years ago when I first visited Phuket with my Bangkok girlfriend.  It brings back mixed memories.  But felt good to be back in Phuket.

phuket beach
Patong beach

By now its late afternoon in Phuket.  The beach is pretty busy with tourists to Patong mostly Australian, some Indians, Arabs and quite a few Russians.  There are quite a few families around in Patong, couples and younger groups travelling or on vacation.  Nothing like the crowd you will find on the beach in Pattaya, an absence of Cheap Charlie types.  I take a couple of dips in the sea and the water is clean and very warm.


There had been a recent crackdown on beach vendors by the Thai authorities in Phuket.  This is a big minus for me.  There are no beach loungers, deck chairs  and umbrellas available on Patong beach.

In the shade of the trees, you could hire a beach mat, or buy your own from the kiosks nearby on Beach road.  I spent a few hours relaxing under the shade of the palms on a beach mat.   A poor substitute for a beach lounger, not nearly as comfortable.  You can buy a cold bottle of beer for 100 baht.

Day dreaming

Heaven is laying  on  a lounger with a panoramic view of a beautiful beach.  Hat on and sunglasses, reading my book, listening to some music on the internet radio. Maybe even pay a bit extra for an umbrella if the sun is bright and hot. Every so often peeking up over my book to observe sexy  girls walking pass in bikinis and waving away the many peddlars. My mind often wandering to what sexy girls I might meet down Bangla road tonight.

Phuket sunset

Watching the day go by on Patong beach until sunset.

Patong sunsets

The Patong beach sunset never fails to impress, Its always worth hanging around for if you got a camera.  Every night on Patong beach and the sky takes on a different hue and cloud configuration.

phuket patong beach
Patong bay sunset

I stay on the beach until dark.  I was in no rush to get out tonight, I had a week in Patong.   I have some nice Thai food in a beach side restaurant and head back to the Keeta hotel.  To get ready for my first night out in Patong,  down Bangla Road and try to find myself a cute bar girl.

Bangla Road

How would I fare mongering down Bangla road in Patong?  Maybe its still better to come to Phuket with your girlfriend, family or a bunch of friends who have no knowledge of your whore mongering hobby?

Recent mongering reports from Phuket were not fantastic, high prices low quality of bar girls.  Its why we mongers have to go hunting.  Lucky for me I had some other hobbies to distract me,  like photography, eating, drinking, exploring, massage with extras, lounging around, sleeping and generally doing sweet fuck all. I had not come to Phuket strictly for sex, pussy and mongering.

Sex Tourism

In fact rather than a seedy sex tourist destination Bangla road in Patong is now more geared towards mainstream tourism.  Drinking buddies mixed in with families walking pass with prams and young couples taking a little walk on the wild side.  And of course just the odd hardcore monger and sex tourist.

patong bangla road
Bangla road

At night Bangla road is closed off to traffic.  Much like Walking street in Pattaya.  In fact Patong has a similar setup to Pattaya.  A beach road, a walking street and a road called Ratuthit road, much like Second road. This area of Patong would be my prime hunting area for some quality Thai Pussy over the next week in Phuket.

Rock Hard Agogo

I start off my night times entertainment down the far end of Bangla road in the Rock Hard Gogo.  Carlsberg draft was on special promotion in most of the Gogos off Bangla road at 99 baht a glass.  I remember being sat in the Rock Hard Agogo for the first time over 10 years ago with my Bangkok girlfriend.  She was puking a little bit in the corner, accusing me of making her pregnant.  I hoped she was at the time.

The gogo girls on offer in Rock Hard Agogo are not great.  One mature gogo girl comes over and sits with me. I pretend to be interested and inquire on price. Initially she wants 2000 baht short time being 1 hour only with a 1000 baht barfine.

So its true what they are saying about Patong – Expensive!  When I not show any interest, she drops to 1000 baht.  Problem was I really was not interested.

Bangla road gogos
Suzi Wongs

The Hard Rock Gogo in Patong is an old mongers favourite.  The best gogo girls are suppose to become available after 9pm when the night shift starts.  If only the gogo girls in Rock hard had made my penis go rock hard then we may have had some business together.

Soi Sea Dragon

The gogo bars in Patong are poor cousins of their counterparts in Walking Street Pattaya and the Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy in Bangkok.  The gogo’s are low down the pecking order on Bangla road.  Their main attraction to me is the air con and cold draft beer.

Bangla road in Patong is a highly concentrated night time adult entertainment area.  Off Bangla road are a number of sois with mostly beer bars.   Most of the gogos on Bangla road are located either side of Soi Sea Dragon.  As you walk past each gogo, touts try their hardest to tempt or pull you inside the Gogo they happen to be promoting.

bangla road patong
soi sea dragon

I try a few more Gogos along soi sea dragon, Suzi Wongs and Erotica.  Same problem, expensive but the gogo girls are not doing it for me.  Same barfine of 1000 baht and the girls want 2000 baht short time.

Bangla Beer Bars

I continue my first night out on Bangla road in a few beer bars down soi Eric and suchlike. I enjoy some live music and play some bar games with some beer bar girls.

Tiger beer bar phuket
Bangla Road Patong

The beers bars down Bangla Road and off the sois are of a higher quality you will find in places like Pattaya.  Drinks down Bangla road are also more expensive.  Beer bars in Patong reign supreme.

Get your tits out

In an effort to tempt me one bar girl get her tits out without me asking when she lets me snap a pic of her.
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Now that has never happened in a beer bar in Bangkok or Pattaya. Those Thai tits aint half bad, but the rest dont do much for me.  Maybe those tits are fake, silicon?

Bar Girl Quality

The quality of the beer bar girls working down Bangla road in Patong is generally better than you will find working in the beer bars of Pattaya. But thats not really saying alot.

soi eric patong
Bangla beer bars

The quality of beer bar girls is atrocious in Pattaya these days.  Only chronic alcoholics would find any of them bar girls remotely attractive after excessive drinking.


It was a fun night out down Bangla road in Patong but made my way back to the Keeta hotel a little disappointed.  I had not really seen any Thai bar girls I wanted to barfine. Although I had only really scratched the service. There was alot of ground to cover and at different times of the night.

You are competing with alot more younger narcissistic fit guys who are convinced they are gods gift to women and should really be getting it for free. Pumped up poseurs who’s diet includes an unhealthy dose of steroids.  They come to places like Bangla road for Narcissistic reward.

 Female Tourists, Freelancers

I had a week to try my luck to find myself some quality Thai pussy in Patong.  I had a nice beach to relax by during the daytime although no loungers.  My expectations were not high, but already I could tell it was not going to be easy to find quality pussy in Patong and down Bangla road.

Maybe I would be better concentrating my efforts on some female tourists in Patong also enjoying the varied nightlife.  Another option are the freelancers working the many discos down Bangla road, but need to be a nightbird for that.  Not much happening before midnight in the nightclubs of Patong.  We shall see, but first night out in Patong and down Bangla road and no pussy.

3 thoughts on “Patong Phuket”

  1. wow, return air fare from BKK to Phuket for £29.00 or about $45.00US, now that is what I do call a bargain.

    I never fancied Phuket (been about everywhere else though in Thailand).

    One day you must try Hua Hin, it is actually a lovely laid back and quite pretty Thai seaside resort without all the bull shit, noise and aggression and rif raf people of Pattaya both in and out of the bars!!
    Hua Hin may well be a very conservative Royal Resort in appearance but believe me there is a lot more to it once you chevk out the back streets and allys.

    1. That does seem too cheap when you do the conversion. I know mongers are interested in the cost, why i like to quote the price, so I looked that up in my booking history on air asia
      1,509.00 THB Cash – CONFIRMED
      I copied the thai amount without thinking. I do know by the time you get to checkout on air asia the price is bumped right up.

      Will take your advice on Hua Hin when I next visit Thailand. Also maybe take a trip to Chang Mai. Would not mind staying away for a few years now and finding some pastures new

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