Its now exactly 10 years ago since I first visited Thailand and fell in love with a Bangkok bargirl. Thought I would write a consolidated post on those bangkok love story episodes.
Before my first trip to Thailand with a couple of close friends in September 2002, I was actually dating a Thai girl back home in London, a girl I had met in a local nightclub one blurry drunken Friday night on the dance floor. I dated her for three years, never knowing where she had really come from but as the relationship progressed, problems began to manifest. Ignorance is bliss. That morning I took my first trip to Thailand she helped me pack my case. Sub consciously I had no intention of being faithful, this girl had hurt me. I was also slightly apprehensive about this trip, like things will never be the same again…
Bangkok Love Story
Your first trip to Thailand as a sex tourist is often cited as like being in an adult Disneyland. After a couple of nights whore mongering in Bangkok though it begins to lose its magic, Iv read hard drugs have a similar effect. All the same you are already addicted.
A few nights in Bangkok and Im looking for something different. I meet a really special Thai princess in one of the hostess bars down Soi 33 and so begins my Bangkok love story. She stay long time with me back at the hotel and I make love to her all night, four times in fact with no condom. In the morning I pay her and wave goodbye to her in the taxi, knowing that for me, I had just met a very special girl, a special bargirl.
But I was aware I should not fall in love with a bargirl, that somehow I could dabble in this danger and come out the other side unscathed. My friend at the same time had fallen hook line and sinker with a beer bar girl he had met down the Nana.
At the time no one knew, least of all her, she was actually HIV positive and would later die of AIDs.
Back at home for a while I would look at pictures of my Thai princess, and wonder where she was now, who she was with, if she ever thought about me? maybe she was pregnant with my baby? Sometimes I would imagine her at home with me, taking her to the local pub and all the guys gawping at her beauty, but behind my back knowing I had married a whore. In my minds eye, was I rehearsing a possible future together?
But after a while I felt I had shaken Thailands grip on me off, maybe I would never ever return as a repeat offender. My relationship with my Thai girlfriend back home was now coming to a close especially after she saw all my Bangkok memories in picture form. Revenge is sweet, was this how she had started? Its easy to resist temptation when it is 6000 miles away and no contacts…. except my friend…
My friend had remained in Thailand, he not do things in halfs. Come Christmas time 2002 he returned home, penniless and homeless, his only motivation was to work, save money and return to Thailand to be with his new found Thai love. His is another long story, but basically he had received very little love or affection at home, all the time with a burning desire to give to a ‘deserving course’
The love that you need will never be found at home
While back at home he passed on a contact to me of a girl who would really like to meet me. Surely those Bangkok sirens were working their evil magic, I was not going to get off so lightly.
This Thai girls story was she had worked briefly in the Nana Golden bar and then met a rich American businessman who set her up with a job and condo. She had just come out of a painful divorce with her Thai husband. She was studying to be an English teacher and needed some cash to pay him off. How she entered the bar girl scene, we all have stories to tell.
Well one night I emailed her and this continued for a few months where she would open up to me on MSN and the webcam. Eventually I return to Thailand in March 2003 to meet this ex bargirl and spent two weeks with her. I liked her she gave me the girlfriend experience, but it was nothing like the passion I had felt with the bargirl I had met on my first trip to Thailand.
One night we pass by soi 33 along the Sukhumvit in a taxi together, I felt a yurning deep inside to return to the hostess bar to see if my Thai princess was still working there. Memories come rushing back to meet me now, emotionally charged, animal like.
My new Thai girlfriend was now living off an allowance from her American businessman associate, she not have to work the bar long and preyed on the old men before hitting the jackpot. Her secret was she was educated, unlike most of the poor Isan farm girls turned Bangkok bargirls. But living with her aged American boyfriend had not worked out either, he apparently could not stay away from the bar. But he still took care of her financially.
‘You can take the monger out of the bar, but you cant take the bar out of the monger’
Places like the Nana were out of bounds as she not want to bump into her rich playboy with me. Back at home this second relationship with a Thai girl began to dissolve rapid but we stayed friends online. It was obvious to me this girl was dating a bunch of different guys. Im not even clear what her game was, but a devious game it was all the same interspersed with her own insecurity and fear of losing everything.
I was also starting to doubt my best friends intentions, he was ringing people up asking to borrow money. We were all victims of one cause or another, the rot was setting in.
Return To Thailand Alone
I took a weeks vacation back to Thailand alone this time in September 2003 one year on from my first visit. No plans to meet with anyone, spur of the moment thing. I was going to be a naughty boy. But in the back of my mind I had a plan to return to that hostess bar down soi 33 to see if my Thai princess was still working there. This was the first time I had been on a vacation on my own, such is the pull of Thailand, you know you dont have to be alone for long. I had a really good time and got distracted by places like soi cowboy and Pattaya.
On my last night in Thailand, I returned to Bangkok from Pattaya, I was determined to not get distracted and head straight for the hostess bar down soi 33. I actually booked into the hotel we had all stayed in on that first trip to Bangkok now one year ago. It felt strange being back in this hotel, just ghosts from the past remained, it was not the same, would never be again. My friend had been back in Thailand the last I knew but was now living in the village with his ex Bangkok bargirl, I sent him some texts but no reply.
‘Its better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all’
Reunited and it feels so good
I head straight for the bar, its early around 8-9pm I walk into Christies down soi 33, scan the bar girls working and there she is in the same spot where my Bangkok love story had began. Her eyes light up as she recognises me, she looks happy, put on a bit of weight but no visible scars physical or emotional. We got alot of catching up to do, I barfine her and take her for a meal along the Sukhumvit and then back to the hotel where we spend a second night together separated by a gap of 1 year.
Im quizzing her about any boyfriends she has got, how many guys she has met just like me in the bar? Her answers are mostly vague, simple lies, but she told me what I wanted to believe. It not occur to me at the time she may already be married to a Thai man.
The sex this time was not so good, although wearing a condom, but it was just lovely to be in her company again. She stayed until the afternoon and this time we exchanged contact details. That evening as Im packing my case to return home, I get my first text from her, the deal is sealed. I had achieved one of the things I had returned to Thailand for, but the solo mongering had been really good too, cant forget that now either.
Communication, Cross wires
Back home about a week later, for the first time I talk to her on the phone, she is working in the bar and its Party night. She sounds happy, happier that I had called. Soon Im receiving pictures of her, in the bar, in expensive hotels. I suppress the painful reality that these are shots other lovers have taken of her.
One night some Scottish bloke is ringing me asking who I am, he sounded distressed, like reality was tearing into his fantasy, his heart was breaking. She knew nothing about it of course, must have been cross wires. One thing for sure though, she looked cute in those pics and I could not wait to hold her again, kiss her cheeks, smell her perfume. Even if I tried, nobody like her existed at home, she was one in a million, I could change our destiny for the better.
Love rears its ugly head
Next trip to Thailand end of November 2003 is going to be exclusively with my Bangkok girlfriend. Im starting to run up a credit card bill with all these trips to Thailand.
‘No money, no love’
She has now stopped working in the bar and she waits for me to arrive at Bangkok airport. I set my eyes on her for the third time and cuddle and kiss with her in the back of the taxi on the way to our Bangkok hotel. This alone was worth the journey.
We have a couple of days getting to know each other in Bangkok, there were many moments of jealously on my part, she would joke about having many sponsors as she tries to withdraw some cash from the bank, occasionally disappearing, Thai waiters, other mongers chatting to her, like I not exist. That I was just a temporary boyfriend.
It was going to be hard work controlling my emotions as love reared its ugly head. Shadows were beginning to appear over my love story. Certainly I must be looking for love in the wrong places, I was not consciously looking though, it just unfolded this way. The better wiser side of me was a feeble bystander.
I needed to get out of Bangkok with my Thai love so I treated myself and her to a trip to Koh Sumui. What was for sure we did like each other and waking up with her in the bed in the morning had its benefits. To be continued…